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  • Jolene Psychology and Hypnosis Centre

What you resist, will not only persists, but will grow in size.


We all have thoughts, feelings, and memories that can be difficult to deal with.

In some cases, people deal with such feelings by utilizing what are known as defense mechanisms.

These defense mechanisms are unconscious psychological responses that protect people from threats and things that they don't want to think about or deal with.

Nobody likes feeling uncomfortable. That is the essence of the word. (It is the opposite of feeling comfortable, safe, and supported.)

So it makes sense that you would want to avoid uncomfortable feelings. But is this worse for you than you think?


Avoiding Difficulties Doesn’t Work

Avoiding things is a way of escaping or not facing your problems or your feelings.

When a person feels as though they are in danger or there is a difficult situation they have to face there are often two common responses- stay and face the problem, or flee and run away from the problem.

Facing your problems can be scary. This is when the discomfort that you are experiencing can intensify and worsen.

So why would anybody want this to happen? Well, many times it is necessary to face your problems in order to overcome them, sometimes we must accept reality in order for us to remain open to new information.

If you continue to ignore your negative emotions, it will build up inside of you. We need to practice acceptance, everyone has experience in the negative consequences of avoiding conflict and avoiding negative emotions. It is okay to go through this- it means that you are human.

The first step to improve how you feel and face your emotions is actually acknowledging them for what they are.



#Solve your silent problems.

#Learn to recognize avoidance.

#Silencing issues will not make them disappear; it will only make things worse.

#Naming problems is the first step toward solving them.



每种不安都有原因

每个伤口都有帮助

如果不愿正视自己受了什么伤

不愿解读自己的不安

就无法看见自己最真实的一面


我为什么会变成这样?

大部分的人即使知道问题一再重复,他们选择的解决方式不是面对自己的内心,而是逃跑。有时候,人们并没有意识到自己在逃跑,逃跑是一种内心的防护网,用来保护自己不要受到可预期的痛苦上海,换句话说就是启动了【逃跑机制】。虽然也有一些方法,能帮助我们在这样的防卫机制之下承受痛苦,成长发展,但是大多数的人,会选择刻意压抑难受的情绪,否定造成问题的原因,或者责怪他人。这样虽然能够暂时缓解内心的痛苦,但绝非根本的解决之道。问题是,防卫机制这家伙通常会自己启动,如果不特别注意,我们便会下意识地习惯了它的存在。



唯有透彻了解让我们无法看透内心的障碍,我们才能将障碍清除掉。越是压抑,创伤就会越严重; 越是逃避,不安就会更加强烈,最后强力地反扑。我们深信防卫机制能够保护我们,但那样的逃避心理,最后甚至可能会击溃我们的内心。但若能运用适当的技巧,与不安和创伤正面交锋,那反而有机会掌握开启封闭内心的唯一钥匙,即使那样的自己比起想象中更加怯弱,更不起眼也无妨。若能接受,爱着自己的真实面貌,那么来自四面八方的各种攻击,都不足为惧。


#我们每个人,其实都在逃

#找出自己内心的那一份不安

#你最想逃避的内心不安和创伤,恰好造就了现在的自己

#只要察觉到这点,我们就能获得认同真实自我的力量

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